Justin Timberlake Interviews
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This is an exclusive interview with pop's biggest high-pitched, dancing, chimpanzee playboy. Yes, we give the questions to Justin Timberlake. We give him a proper interview, unlike these children's television programs which ask what his favourite colour is and which ice cream flavour he prefers.

So Justin Timberlake's agent calls me up and says his client is ready for an interview in Colindale's Burger King in the children's play area. I was told that I couldn't ask him about Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz or any other woman he's bummed over the years. To be honest I don't think anyone wants to know about it anyway. It's now 7pm and I finally arrive at Colindale, Burger King's play area. We sit down at the bench, grab ourselves a pair of Burger King Crowns made from card and get the interview started.

So, Justin, why are you so popular?

Well I don't know. My music is what people seem to like these days. You know, they'd rather listen to me with my high pitched voice singing songs that even I don't know the meaning of, than listen to gimmick-less and soulful music. What do I care? How else would I pay for these leather pants?

Surely, it's not your music. People these days seem more interested in your favourite colour and ice cream flavour rather than your music.

That's true. I guess my music has no meaning. The fans love me because I'm famous, not because I'm talented, but like I said, as long as I'm making money, I don't care. I know that most the people who buy my records are thirteen year old girls who have finally discovered masturbation, and that's who I target my music at.

Now I did watch a few interviews that you've done with children's television programs. You did mention in one of them that your favourite bands are Coldplay and Radiohead.

Yeah, I have all their albums. I really love their music. It just helps me relax after work, which involves dancing and moving my lips in the right timing. They are really good bands.

You also did say that you base your image around Radiohead frontman, Thom Yorke. You were being sarcastic, right?

No way! I think he's the coolest guy in rock. I guess I'd like to be like that too. He looks like he isn't trying hard to make himself look good. He's usually got a bit of stubble on his face and he keeps his hair short but messy. It's a bit like what I've done.

You wear leather trousers though.

Well I think they look good on me.

Cool. So what do you make of the music industry today? Do you like all these manufactured boy bands?

Well, it's alright. There's plenty of money to be made out there. Music is not what it used to be. It's more of a business now. Little girls only like this kind of music because it's fashionable now. No one will remember my name in a few years time though. I don't really care, I got lots of money, I can have any woman I want and I have no pride. It's great being Justin Timberlake.

Right, so what do you make of Fred Durst?

He's cool.

(Silence) … But I heard you wanted to break his penis in two after he bummed Britney Spears. That girl's getting desperate. She's been bummed by pretty much everyone.

You ass, you were told not to talk about her! Don't talk to me ever again… Actually, you're right. What was I thinking when I proposed to that whore? I only wanted to have sex with a virgin, but now she's had sex with Fred Durst, Colin Farrell and probably a few others I don't know about. She always will be damaged goods.

Aren't you damaged goods too? You've bummed almost every woman in the celebrity world, and thousands of pre teen groupies back in your N Sync era.

Hey, I'm a man. I'm allowed to have sex with whoever I want. A woman isn't supposed to have sex until she's married.

So, are you saying that these people you've had sex with are actually male?

Gay? No way Jose!

Well explain the leather trousers…

At this moment, Justin Timberlake throws his Burger King Crown to the floor, stamps on it and storms out of the play area…

Is that exciting that you?re getting a lot of critical good words before the record comes out?

Justin Timberlake
It is very exciting, I mean, you know, sometimes I think, I don?t think it?s all good. I mean there?s some bad too, you know, I think everything comes with something. But, you know, there?s the people who, the critics who have said good things, you know, I was pleasantly surprised and happy that they like the record because they?re very hard to please. They?re very hard to please so yes it feels good and I?m happy with it.

Why do a solo record in the first place?

Justin Timberlake
You know honestly it?s something that?s kind of been an ongoing thing for me as a kid. And I just got, you know, in the madness of all the ?NSYNC craze and things just got so crazy I said, I think as a group we decided to kind of slow down and see where our heads were at and what we wanted to do for the next record. And, you know, I just got this creative spurt and went in the studio and here it is. It?s really more about timing than anything. It kind of just worked out.

I guess does this mean your boy band trend is officially over? Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys is releasing his first solo album and yours is about to hit the street and you were even quoted in Entertainment Weekly saying, ?the bubble gum sound is old.? Did you see the writing on the wall? Is that why you kind of went off to do this?

Justin Timberlake
No, no like I said, I mean, it was a little more organic than that. But I, I think music is ever evolving, you know, just like we got a heavy dosage of Nirvana and Pearl Jam, you know, seven or eight years ago that, you know, I mean, I think a sound people latch on to and they want to hear it for awhile. You know just like in this past year the two top albums are Eminem and Nelly as far as I?m concerned, those are my two favorite records. And they?re both of the same genre, they?re both hip-hop. I just think music and popular music is ever evolving and, you know, I did make that statement and I, you know, I stand behind it. I think the bubble gum sound that, you know, and it?s the closest thing, it?s the closest words I could use so that people would know what sound I was talking about. You know I think that that has changed. I don?t think people want to hear that so much anymore. I know that I don?t and that?s more so why, you know, I did this record.

I wanted to talk about the influence of Michael Jackson on your music. It?s apparent and it?s obviously you?ve talked about it a lot but I wondered that as a songwriter what makes you different from him? I know that you emulate a lot of his styles but I wanted to know what you might think you?re adding to that, how you?re making that sound a little bit more progressive?

Justin Timberlake
I think honestly I think that I think that I?ve used a lot of, a lot more different sounds than Michael did. I think, you know, it?s easy to hear. It?s apparent obviously in the first single because the staccato beats and the staccato rhythms and the vocals. As you listen on to the album you?ll hear I think some of my stylizing growing up where I grew up in Memphis, Tennessee, you know, it?s a very blues influenced. I think you?ll hear a lot of that more so than, you know, the influence that he had of James Brown. So I think it?s just, it?s a fusion of other different styles of music. I mean obviously he?s influenced our whole generation. You know I wasn?t lucky enough to grow up in a time where we could watch people like Michael and Madonna and look up to them as pop icons. And I just think, you know, there?s other music out there for me, you know, and there?s other music that?s influenced me. I think you?ll definitely hear a little bit of the Eagles in the harmonies.

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